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  • Andrea Armstrong

Why Are Some Men So Afraid Of Commitment?

Spring is here, so I’ve been getting a lot of women asking for relationship advice on non-committal men. If you ask men why they are so non-committal, why they cheat, or why they deceive their partners, the #1 answer you’ll get is boys will be boys. Doesn’t help, does it?

So, I’ve compiled a short list of things to help really get to the bottom of how to determine if your man is non-committal or commitment phobic. Here are some subtle cues to look out for to determine if you’re in a non-committal relationship:

1) Past Relationship References

How he describes his past relationships could be a good place to start. Did he have a string of bad relationships with “crazy” women? If it was “most of them were crazy”, then he’s probably looking to blame others for his past relationship failures.

Realistically, he may have deeper issues that he has to resolve that you might not be able to. Most people, especially men, loathe failure. They are designed to try to fix shit.

If they couldn’t in the past and it became how they related to women, they hate taking chances. If you stick around chances are you’ll be one of those “crazy” exes.

2) I Intended On…

That sounds good, doesn’t it. But, most people intend on doing a lot of things that they want, but just never get around to it.

Marriage is one of them. Weight loss, exercising, you name it. If you don’t act on what you intend to do, it doesn’t happen. When men want something, they act on it. If they aren’t discussing a relationship, chances are they aren’t looking for anything committed.

3) Fighting

Yeah, fighting. If you think there’s something better out there, you won’t try to resolve conflict. You’ll just exit out.

4) Delete the Need to Understand

Sometimes we really don’t know the reasons why things worked out the way they did. Relying on a source outside yourself to understand why you feel hurt can lead you to persecute yourself.

Sometimes people might not be completely honest with themselves and aren’t ready to be honest with you or can’t be honest with you. The best thing to do is just recognize that it’s over or the person is not going to call or the person doesn’t want to be in your life and that’s ok.

You lost nothing. You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what the other person was about, said, did, etc.


With love and service xx

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