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  • Andrea Armstrong

How To Kiss In A Way To Become "Unforgettable" -Derek Robert Delahunt

Updated: Mar 9, 2019

She dropped her bag on the bed and walked to the window.

He had followed her in, but now stood in the middle of the room to watch her from a distance. He noticed how she gently placed her hands on the glass and turned her gaze to the sidewalk and street below.

Six weeks he had waited for this moment. Six weeks he had ached for the taste of her skin, soft and fragrant with coconut oil. Six weeks he had dreamed of her beautiful back under his lips, each inch as if it were a new land discovered for the first time—his hands moving slowly under her shirt and over her breasts. For six weeks now, he had lived this kiss in his mind, over and over.

“Oh,” she moaned before her own gasp cut her off. He had walked up behind her and quietly fallen to his knees and now she felt his soft lips and scratchy beard low on her back, his hands on her stomach. Her breath quivered.


She didn’t turn around. She stood there with her hands pressed against the glass, her back arching slightly under the sensation of his mouth, softly kissing and sucking her skin. With him she had learned how to receive—learned how to surrender and open herself to his lead.

And so, she let it happen and in doing so, felt only him. Everything else was like a distant and muffled conversation as she felt his hands slide up to gently hold her breasts, and felt, kiss by kiss, his lips slowly move up her spine toward her neck.

That’s how it can be.

Your kiss can be a precious gift of your total presence—an authentic and erotic expression of your affection and attraction—one that makes her feel that she is, in that moment, the most important person in your world.

First, let me say that I cringe whenever I read someone’s, “How to give her better orgasms,” bag-of-tricks article—even if it’s written under the camouflage of mindfulness. I cringe because I know there’s no blueprint to great sex or to an intimate kiss.

I know from experience that a woman will not open herself to you because you said all the right words, kissed and touched her in all the right spots. Sure, she may sleep with you, if that’s what she wants, but I know from observation that she will not be truly open. Not that way.

You see, your ability to express yourself through your kiss depends entirely on the depth of presence you bring to the moment. You should also know that you can only contribute yourself and the connection you may create with the kiss depends on both of you. You both have roles to play—you as the strong and trusted masculine—and she as the open feminine recipient.

I’m here to talk about your half of the equation—you as the masculine energy.

Before I continue, it’s important to know that, “he,” and, “she,” as I write it, refers to the two people who represent within the sexual equation only the masculine and feminine energy—not their gender or gender identity. In my mind, as I write, I’m thinking of a man and woman—but, please know that it’s not my intent to be gender-specific.

There are many different scenarios in which you will kiss a woman. Like two ships passing in the night, you may go home with someone after meeting in a bar, with no intent to ever talk again. You may find the courage to kiss a woman you’ve ached to kiss for a long time. You might kiss a new girlfriend, a longtime wife, or you might find yourself somewhere you’re not supposed to be, kissing someone you’re not supposed to be with.

For any of these situations, it is possible to find in that kiss a deep and intimate connection.

Wherever you are—with a stranger for one night, or with the love of your life—the same principle applies: it all depends on the depth of presence you bring to the moment. It depends on your commitment to be fully conscious and aware only of her. It doesn’t matter if your kisses are hard or soft, wet or dry. What matters is how much presence you give.

“How do you do this? How do I kiss her like that, with total presence?”

Follow these and she will measure kisses from all other men by your kiss:

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