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  • Andrea Armstrong

How Do You Know When You Have Found Your SoulMate?

Relationships never have been, and never will be an easy journey. The road to any relationship is filled with speed bumps. The good news is that if you are willing to put in the work, you’ll find happiness with the right partner. That said, happiness isn’t a goal, or a thing you achieve, like a college degree. It’s a state of mind and a statement of how one chooses to live their life.

What about love?

Love is what connects us with humanity and it is what brings the world together. Many of us spend time looking for that special someone whom we can open our souls to and reveal all the good stuff, weird, and ugliness that makes us who we are… While we spend a lot of time looking for this person, the fact is that they could be anyone anywhere. They can be your best friend, your college buddy or your co-worker. Love has a way of finding you if you just keep yourself open to opportunity.

Love and respect are the bedrock and anchor of any healthy relationship. Love is not easy and it not something to set and forget. It takes a lot of work. Sometimes you get mad and sometimes you fight, but if you remember what brought you and your lover together you can always start anew.

Be open to different experiences

They say that you have to date some frogs in order to find your prince or princess charming. It’s easy to get discouraged and just give up. If you stay cooped up in a cycle, do not expect anything to change. She will not text back to you. If you do not take action, nothing will happen! This is why it’s important to be open and to put yourself out there!

Meet new and exciting people. Surround yourself with people who make you want to grow and add a positive light in your life. When you feel good about yourself, you are bound to send off a good vibe and energy to others as well. You attract what you put out into the world and people will no doubt be attracted to your good vibes. No one wants to date a person that feels dull. Love finds you when you take a risk and put yourself out there. That’s sometimes the hardest part: letting go of fear and just getting out there.

Start fresh and drop the previous baggage

Sometimes love isn’t enough and a relationship fails. It happens. A lot! What do you do? First, figure out what went wrong. Ask yourself some tough questions. Why were you in the relationship in the first place? Were you really happy or weren’t you? What was your part in how things played out? Being honest with yourself is incredibly hard but also incredibly important.

If you want to move on, you need to accept what is. You need to cut ties with your ex and move on with your life. That’s the hardest part… They longer you stay tethered to the past the more likely it is it will negatively impact your future.

There are a few steps to attract your soul mate fast and I think it’s worth noting that there is no panacea, it is hard. The most important advice here is that you live presently and understand where you’re at emotionally.

Beware of what you are getting into

Many of us start questioning ourselves when we believe we have found “the one”. How do you know when you meet your soul mate? It’s not like the movies where lights come on, music plays, and birds sing. Real life ain’t that easy, buck-o. We’re quick to temper our enthusiasm, looking for “what is wrong” with the object of our affection.

Finding your lover, your soul mate, is kind of like a good piece of design. When you strip away all the superfluous bits of our personalities, wants, and desires, you’re left with two people and if those two people can tolerate each other’s bullshit then they can live a happy life.

“Perfection is Achieved Not When There Is Nothing More to Add, But When There Is Nothing Left to Take Away” — Anon.

If you can tolerate each other and still be together at your worst then you surely have hope for a bright future. You’ll know, then, that you have found your soul mate. Finding your soul mate and partner isn’t the destination, merely it’s the start of your journey together.

There are no secrets in making a love that lasts. It’s hard damn work. Sometimes you hurt your lover and stumble on what to say to him. It’s okay. It’s all part of what makes these things work.

Don’t forget about romance

If you have found your true soulmate; then hold on to them with both hands, through thick and thin. There are a few ways to infuse romance into a relationship that is beginning to go stale.

One thing that comes to mind is that many people stop “dating.” That is, they don’t keep going out and doing spontaneous things. They just go about their routines. Routines are fine, healthy even! But it’s important to break these things up from time to time. Go out-of-town for the weekend. Grab an Airbnb and go. Take a train somewhere you’ve never been. If you have the luxury of being a tourist in your own town, go see something you’ve never seen before. Easier if you’re in a large metro area. Or just do something that scares you.

Finding your soulmate and keeping them are two different things. If you keep yourself open to possibility and are also willing to work hard, the rest of the relationship will work itself out.


With love and service xx

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